I love you. I do. But..’ I shrugged and looked down again. ‘My heart’s desire is staring me right in the face and I can’t even let myself have...this moment of happiness. I can’t let go.’ I moved off Marty’s lap and sank back on the sofa, my eyes closed. The room was very quiet for a few minutes. I felt Marty move on the sofa and soon I felt him slide in next to me. He lowered his head to my shoulder and carefully curled himself around me. ‘No worries, love. I’m not going anywhere.’ He rested his. But I knew theywould never be. It would take a miracle for Josh to change his mindabout me.After the second verse there was a small instrumental piece in thesong, and Josh and I had our eyes directed at each other the wholetime. It was the hardest part of the song for me to get through. Iwanted nothing more than to run home and hide under my covers and cry,but that wasn't something I could do. I was on stage in front of 20,000people. I could not cry now.Josh seemed to be hurting too. I did not. I usually got along with them, but I suspected that they were put up to it by some of my enemies on the outside. Lord knows, I had plenty of them to go around.I brought it to a quick conclusion by promising them a couple of packs of smokes which I knew I could get from the laundry manager just by asking.When I went into the visiting area, Julie was already there sitting on one of the stools they used because they were bolted to the floor. I could see she was nervous and uncomfortable. The. It didn’t matter that her hips felt like they were splitting as if in child birth, after all she was being reborn, wasn’t she? Reborn into a world the antithesis of her orderly, restrained, law abiding, life. It didn’t matter his long rough tongue had snaked into her mouth and found a soft willing partner or that he stank of stale sex and she could smell her own cum mingling with his. She was bursting free of her constraining comfort zone, her cocoon, and she was going to be like a butterfly.
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” ‘THWACK,' she received a stinging spank.“Yes, Coach. Coach Natasha. Do it again please.” ‘SLAP,’ another one, this time right on her
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